Siblings

I don't have a sister and was an only child for 14 years. I am learning motherhood and navigating what sibling relationships are at the same time. I can't think of to many areas where my kids are similar. They all think differently, see the world differently, interact differently, do relationships differently and are motivated and pursue totally different things. 

There have been many instances of comparison and unhappiness in how they see themselves in contrast to how they see their sibling. And of course the opposite has happened of one seeing themselves as better then the other. There was a time where I was speaking to one of them when they were unhappy with something about themselves in comparison to the other. I shared with them my perspective. I told her how I love the differences and how I would be devastated to have 2 of the same person. Then I asked her what she would do if she saw her sibling grieving a part of who they are because they wanted to be like her. She responded with an absolute sadness if her sibling devalued who they were. I told her it was the same for me when I see her devaluing who she is and trying to do or be who her sibling is. 

Why is it so easy for us to devalue the things that come naturally to us and covet the things others can do? Why would she so easily throw in the trash a part of who she is, but so absolutely fight for who her sibling is? 

I think we all struggle with this in our lives, but in a sibling dynamic (living in the same space, no room for masking who we are, buttons being pushed on the regular) we get to see the reality of the deep pain we have when we are not aware of the wonderful intentionality the Creator put into us. 

The way I see my children, the way I am attuned to their different nuances and see where their greatest strengths can also be their greatest weakness, their natural talents can be unknown by them because it is so natural for then and the inspiring and challenging perspectives they bring that make me think and reconsider things I have let become the norm. 

I had another conversation with one of my kids addressing their complete irritation with a relational habit of their sibling. One is a rule abider and risk evaluator and the other a rule tester and risk taker. And this creates great tension between them and a whole lot of work for me. One day when I had the patience and made the time to address this in a deeper way then "stop it" I had a chat about the positives in the differences. I shared with her how her father and I are them same in that one is a rule abider and risk evaluator (me) while the other is a rule tester and risk taker (her father). I shared how her father has taken me to places I never would have gone, stretched me to try things I never would have tried and explored where I never would have explored. And how I have slowed him down to smell the roses, consider things he never would have taken the time to consider and notice dangers or wonderful things that were easily raced by and missed. I told her we don't need to change and be like the other, but we do need to value the opinions and perspective of others that seem to challenge how we do things because they will bring good things into our life that enrich and enhance our path. Either changing our direction, changing our step or solidifying the decision we have made. So when your sibling says "hey you shouldn't do that!" instead of letting that divide you from each other, stop, consider the perspective and decide if it is a risk to show them it is ok to take or is it a warning of something harmful that is in the end helpful to you. It's a good thing to stop and consider your steps. And your adventurous spirit can inspire your sibling and those around you to take a risk, not fear mistakes and live in grace. 

Proverbs 4

LOUELA's designs by Lucy

This post is a product of Lucy and my coffee date at SIP. As mentioned in this post, we had an inspiring morning. Lucy has so much creativity and drive in her little body it astounds me. As a mother I want to provide space, time and resources for my kids to explore their imagination and talents. Whatever it may be. As I have done this with Lucy the things that have come to be have brought so much joy and inspiration. 

This is part of the "Lulu plays" series, which is a photo series created and imagined by Lucy. The set, make-up, wardrobe and whole concept is by Lucy and shot by me. It was so fun to see her ideas come to life. A little peak in the mind of Lucy. I hope that we will have some more "Lulu play" shoots down the road. 

Below is a popsicle named "Ben". Lucy created a pattern for Ben and has some other variations to try with him. 

The amazingly fabulous and talented Chelli of CHC has been giving Lucy sewing lessons. This apron is a product of that wonderful time. 

Also pictured are some products available in our Society6 shop.

Make-up, hair, wardrobe and photo concept by Lucy.

LOUELA's finding inspiration and Mr. Bing

Last week my daughter Lucy and I went for a little date to one of our favorite local coffee shops called SIP. It seems not to many locally owned places last in the city these days, but this little hidden gem is one that has been here for over 15 years. Lucy and I love their London Fog and their yummy chocolate cake donuts!

I made a decision recently that I want to make time to take my kids out individually once a month. Having multiple children is quite a task and it goes by so quickly. It is hard to connect with them as individuals when we are all together and with homeschooling we are all together ALOT. It is easy to just plow through the day, go through our usual conversations and irritations and define them by how they interact in the family. But they are all so unique and have so much going on inside their hearts and minds that I want to make time to hear, understand and walk with them in their personal journey not just our journey as a family. I love to find out who they are, what they like, dislike what they are wrestling with and what they are enjoying.

As Lucy and I shared a donut and enjoyed our yummy London Fogs we chatted about a lot of things: friends, dance, family and LOUELA. My daughter Lucy is a bundle of creativity and when she clicks on something that inspires her the flood gates open. Her and I are similar in that way and sometimes it can be overwhelming to have so many ideas and figure out how to channel it in a tangible way. I wanted to give her a chance to make these ideas come to life. I had some samples of our Society6 shop items and also a few handmade items Lucy had finished, so we thought we could start there.

As we walked home from our little date she shared with me all her visions for a LOUELA photo shoot and all the items she would like to make. Particularly some clothing items. When we got home we decided to put some of these things in action and also wrote down some of the ideas for the future. We did 2 different concepts: "LOUELA at home" and "Lulu Plays"

It was SO fun to see her vision come to life. She blows me away with how much creativity she has in her little being. Elly wasn't feeling full par, but she jumped in for a few of the shots and glowed her beauty on the set for the "LOUELA at home" shots.

MR. BING a "Lulu Plays" idea

Lucy created Mr. Bing after being inspired by something she saw on the web. 

She designed him and hand stitched him one evening. He is a cherished part of the LOUELA family:)

All the photos with LOUELA items shared in the last few posts are from that inspirational day over London Fogs, as are the ones in this post:) 

And there are a few more to come!